UUEEUEHEUEHEEUEUUEUEHEHEHEHEHE UEUEHEHHEAUEHAEHUHEUHAE8!!!!!!!!!!!! UUGHGHGHHGGUEHGUHUHVUQSHUQS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ToT i'll never be a guy....never ever will i ever be that....i don't even care about chromosomes or tits or anything anymore...i won't even be able to ever have a real cock. i know this sounds so fucking stupid and gross and disgusting and it is but oh my FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!! i'll never be able to jerk it....i'll never be able to have intimacy with another guy and have it feel right...i'll never be able to hug someone and have em nibble on my adams apple....i prolly won't ever be able to have a flat chest anymore. i wish we were anything else than capitalist so maybe i could have a chance to get top surgery or anything without having to die twice and steal coins from people tryna cross the styx because i'll be too BROKE to ever get it....ugughzeuhUGHUHGEUGE THIS IS EATING ME INSIDE!!!!! i'll never have the teenager exploring his sexuality thingie....because what can i even do ????? just looking at myself for too long make me want to KILL MYSEFL!!!!!! i want to die so fucking bad UGHGHGGHHGHG I HAte BEING A GIRl....i don't even have a proper binder!!!!! i've been binding for the last two something years with a swimsuit; i don't give a shit if it deforms my ribs and hurts and makes me want to kill myself...i'd do fucking anything to have a flat chest. i hate this so much. kille me PLEASE. and don't even get me started on teh constant misgendering. i've come out to SO MANY of my friends and yet almost ALL OF EM call me a girl on the daily. the fuck is wrong with y'all ???? you watn me to kill myself or something ????? once i even was forced to come out to em, and they still didn't even respect it!!!!! if you're gonna press me about my gender the fucking LEAST you can do is FUCKING EVEN TRY TO REPECT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THIS SO MUCH i'm gonna slit my wrists open and let myself bleed out and then we'll fucking see if i'm just following a trend anymore YOU FUCKING MORONS I HOPE ALL OF YOU DIE IN GRUESOME WAYS.
okay that last part was false sorry i got a bit too mad i love all of my friends but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop misgendering me or i'm gonna hafta contact the suicide hotline

hiiiiiii i hate exams so fucking bad....uughghghghgg most stresfull month of my life (not rly)....uhhh, i did some new art....alsothe piko banner you're seeing here lol. named it "piko piko island".....this song trauma'd me istg. i hate it with a vigor. i got a chemistry exam tmrw! i wanted to do smth artistic but my family would literally smite me so uh. i'm doing chemistry studies. whatevs. at least maybe i'll be able to jabby jab my way outta there. listening to Second Curse rn....kikuo...save me kiko...i can oshi oshi oshi money money you.....heh (no i won't. i don't even know this man.). AAAALSo i MIIIIGHT be able to buy a binder. basically if i do an exam good enough i can get like 100 free euros so then i can buy myself a binder. and if i don't manage to do that i'll just do art commisions during summer break lol. if anyone even WANTS to commision me..; whatevs.

i'm gonna kill myself i swear i will fucking kill me already ohhhh myyyy gooododdoododod broooooohoohohhohhhhhhhhhh ughghghgggggghghghghghghghgghghghghghgg fucking kill meeeemememeeeeeqeqedsvjcnsbdkglKBX QNK i want to rip my skinn off so fucking bad i want to cut my insides open and then throw my fucking guts onto the fucking wall someone decapitate me alreadyyyyy only 4 years left!!!! 4 year to last!!!! 4 years!!!! 4!!!! c'mon chat!!!! i can do that!!!! 4 years!!!! 4 years isn't that long!!!! c'mon!!!!! i'll do it!!!!! that makes uhhhh 1440 days or smth....eyahhhahahaaaaa i can do this. 1500 days left!!!!!!!!!!! i'll do it!!!!!!!!!! and then i can leave this fuckass torture jail of a house and say fuck you to my family and kill myslef under a bridge or something. i'll find me a nice place...and get top surgery...or at least a binder...and get me some sorta job!!!!! and then i'll live a nice life!!! and maybe kiss guys!!!!! and i'll be called a dude nd all;..;;;;i will. 100%. i won't kill myself before that;;;;just a few years left to hold up chat